More than coping with body changes

This picture popped up on Facebook the other day as a memory shared by my cousin from 5 years ago, and I was immediately taken aback. Over the years, I apparently weeded out a lot of photos of me at my heaviest weight, so when one I haven't seen comes up, it's almost surprising. It brings back so many of the feelings associated with that time in my life. I was unhappy and so inactive and eating Zaxby's and Chick-fil-A seriously 7 days a week. Now I GET to eat more (not quite for two) but sometimes it's tough to enjoy.

Throughout this pregnancy, I have done my darnedest to fight the feeling that I am just gaining weight. As someone who fought so hard for so long to figure out nutrition and training and what was sustainable for me and enjoyable and do-able for me, sometimes it doesn't feel like baby weight... just weight! I know a lot of women spend a lot of their pregnancies saying, "I can't wait until I actually look pregnant instead of fat," and I have been one of those women for sure! I didn't show early, and so much of my showing is up in my chest ;) But I also feel like I've been setting a terrible example in the body image department.

Who wants to hear a pregnant woman complain about being fat? "Umm.. didn't you understand what you were signing up for?" Well, yeah, but I didn't know how I'd feel about it!

It's an uphill mental battle, for sure, but I'm determined to do more than just cope with pregnancy weight. It is a necessity for my growing, healthy baby, and my selfish feelings about my body have to be put aside. I've been able to give up so many things I love, so why can't I simply put away feelings that I don't want to feel anyways?!

Step one: I'm going to focus more on my husband's needs (when I don't have a major craving or leg cramp). After all, this pregnancy isn't ACTUALLY all about me... and my lack of sleep.

Step two: I'm going to continue to focus my efforts on what my body is still surprisingly capable of, like running and light weight lifting. It's what a body can do that is ultimately the most impressive thing about it, after all, not what it looks like.

Step three: I'm going to marvel at the changes my body is making and appreciate the function of the changes, i.e. IT'S PRETTY COOL THAT I'M GROWING A HUMAN.

Honestly, that's about all the steps I got, because really I don't think it's a terribly lengthy process. Any journey to self-love is simple but only comes from focused effort. I can either choose to enjoy this time, this relatively short and miraculous season of my life, and thank the good Lord for the opportunity that so many women would be happy to have, or I can make myself miserable in my own, stretching skin. I know which one sounds much better to me.

Then, when all is said and done, I relish the chance to throw myself back into hard, breathless, HIIT workouts, and to see what new limits I can push my body to once again!

#weightgain #babyweight